There are a number of words that I never thought I could possibly ever utter and among those is this phrase:

That was too much crackling.


Yet a trip to Hofbrauhaus did make me speak this.. this blasphemy.

Hidden down Market Lane off Chinatown (isn’t that where anyone would expect to find a German restaurant?) just opposite the Flower Drum (which requires several posts of its own) is this German institution of (so I’ve heard) polka music, slap dancing and (as experienced) vast quantities of pork, sauerkraut and schnitzel.

When you order a meat platter for 2, you expect it to serve 2, but this monstrosity could have likely fed 4 if you didn’t eat to stuffed and wanted to save room for dessert. Admittedly, we did almost finish it, but it was a stretch. From memory we were treated to:

  • 2 Sausages (cheese kransky and weisswurst)
  • mashed potato
  • potato dumplings
  • bread dumplings
  • onion rings
  • an entire roasted pork shank
  • 2 schnitzels
  • sauerkraut
  • red cabbage
  • pork belly

I think that was ‘all’… When the waitress came out with the big silver tray and propped it on the stand in front of us I think my eyes nearly popped out of my head. “Platter for 2” ?!?

It was all delicious. I couldn’t stop. Fluffy melty bread dumplings with fresh apple sauce… crispy onion rings… pork, pork and more pork, and oh, so much crackling. The remarkable thing about a pork shank is the high crackling to meat ratio. Oh the gluttony! By the end of it I was sick and happy and disgusted and satiated all at the same time. And no, we didn’t have dessert.

(The waitresses in traditional dresses are also pretty cute, and the entire restaurant looks like a hunting lodge. Service was also friendly, helpful and efficient, and they quickly made space despite not having a booking.)

Highly recommended. Make sure you’re super hungry.


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